How to survive an internship:

1. Check email.
2. Surreptitiously sign on to AIM.
3. Surf the web.
4. Check email.
5. Play with office supplies.
6. Write letters on letterhead.
7. Make photocopies.
8. Check email.
9. Fax things.
10. Call people and ask them to fax you things.
11. Staple.
12. Surreptitiously chat with people on AIM.
13. Send your buddies letters on letterhead (using free postage).
14. Check email.
15. Blog.

In less than a month-and-a-half

I am leaving the country. In less than a month-and-a-half, I am leaving the country. In less than a month-and-a-half, I am leaving this country. In less than a month-and-a-half, I am leaving this country behind. In less than a month-and-a-half, I am leaving this country behind for good.

I don't go to parties

so much as I haunt them. I serve as this sadistic reminder of what happens when their values are taken too seriously, stories told and secrets kept. I ball into their corners and linger in the shadows, and you fear me, not because I am imposing, but because you project upon me exactly what you might become. And you might be right.

Good-Bye Lenin!

made me nostalgic for East German Communism and I never even lived it.

I'm money, baby

Dispatch to the Universe:

I am no longer the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping will make it happen. From now on, I am the guy in the R-rated movie—no one is sure they like me yet. No one knows where I'm coming from.

I'm a bad man, a very bad, bad man.

Culled from Jessi's Away Message

I think that a friend who's a British citizen and knows that the one thing you want from life is to live in Britain, but won't marry you, isn't really your friend.

Fifteen Weeks Later...

The Doc told me today, "I think you might be depressed."

No shit. What the fuck have we been talking about for the past fifteen weeks?