Play Crushes

There's the boy in this organization I'm in whose solitude is adorable and whose sexuality is still indeterminate.
There's the boy in another organization I'm in who's taken, but his laughter is addictive and contagious.
There's the boy I joined an organization in order to meet but was so dumbstruck by his presence that my pursuit was in vain.
There's the boy I've never met but have seen—in movies.
There's the boy whose LiveJournal I became addicted to, but could never contact due to his stance on certain ethical issues that shall remain unnamed.
There's the boy I contacted on the internet ages ago but who never wrote back. He actually said, "Hi," to me on campus recently, and I like to think of that as progress.
There's the boy I went on a date with once but didn't really like. Then I found out he was deeper and more sincere than I am, and I was humbled by my blasé.
There's the boy who was in a play I wrote—who is straight. Actually, there are a few of those, since my only criteria in casting is physical attractiveness.
There's the boy I loved freshman year only to realize how pretentious he was as the year progressed.
There's the boy who's intelligent, sexy and experienced, but he's a friend of friends, and I'm not sure how to break that barrier. "Hey, do you want to hang out?"
There's the boy whose intellectual catfights with me are pitiful at best, whose intellectual counterpart is most closely—quite literally—a cat. But he's stocky and built like a corn-fed midwestern boy, and I hate what he stirs inside me.

And, finally, of course, there's the boy I'm in love with and will probably always be in love with—stupidly, stupidly in love with—precisely because he is unattainable. Imagine: if I really did take dating seriously and found someone I could relate to, the pedestal I've carved for myself would crumble before me; no longer could I take self-satisfaction in conceiving of myself as so intelligent as not to have a match. So I pine after the boy who could play match for me and wonder why all of my play crushes have yet to work out.